Shades of Rahmoon

6/15/05

The Password is the same.

I know.

I can look back and see, now.

It's just so stressful. All of it. The constant late nights, the worrying about exams, the homework, the essays. Nothing ever lets up. But, of course, it's up to me to defeat the assignments presented before me. My resolve to become a doctor wavers, but it will never falter.

I need an escape.

I need a way to recover my lost innocence.

I wish the only 3:30 I ever see represented the afternoon and not the morning.


I realize my audience for this has dwindled, possibly died out. But it helps to get out these feelings of helplessness. An otherwise happy life is marred by my schoolwork. It's temporary, I know, but nothing can top the emotional rollercoaster I've gone through this semester.

Guess I gotta keep going.

Ok, so since my last post, many things have changed.

First, I am a brother of Kappa Kappa Psi, I became one on November 17th. Many people knew already, but it needed to be made official.(go LJ)

Secondly, I am anxiously awaiting super smash brother Brawl. Like andy, I hav e been waiting since Junior year of high school for this game to come out. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, it is only slightly a month away. Lord knows my social is over at that point.

And, that is all.

So...Livejournal. How have I neglected thee? I've had you for almost three years.

I've used you to look over my friends as they grew alongside me. Now that other forms of watching have come up, you sit here alone. I appreciate what you have done for me, LJ. The problem is no one uses you anymore, really. Either school or whatever other reason, you have dropped off mostly everyone's list.

I havn't used this in months. I just don't see what extraordinary things I could write about. I've been in college for over a month now, and my past just seems like it was a dream. Late nights with videogames, worrying about how I am going to hang out with friends, it all seems like a dream that disappeared with the rising sun. Reality now looks like lecture halls and discussion rooms, dorm rooms and dimly lit streets. The SOB and shenanigans are my hangout places, locations known only to UF band students.

Times have changed, drastically if you will. Michelle is no longer a short 7 minute drive away. Sheridan and Pines are no longer my main roads of travel. Heck, I don't drive much anymore. I walk everywhere, there is no time to search for roads and parking.

I miss home. I miss my bed and my shower. I miss my annoying brothers and sisters, even though right now they are far from annoying. I miss seeing my parents at dinner, and talking to my mom about how I will be spending my week amid videogames and football.

I miss it all, because it is all 5 and a half hours away. I yearn for my past, because college life isn't all it is cracked up to be.

...to survive the infected together.

I promise I won't ever get infected...;) (lol)

Anyway, I am indeed updating. Alot has gone by in the months that I havn't updated, and taking it step by step is the only way I am able to handle it. So, first of all, I had UF orientation within the period of quiet. Amazing school, and extremely psyched to know I am going there. While there, I met everyones "twilight zone" counterpart.

For Example:

Ben= Joke killer and annoying.
Dustin= Ladies man and extremely smooth.
Alexis= Extremely mellow and "hippie" mentality.
Arthur= White dude who loves planes.
Justin= Asian dude who loves cars.
Ernest= Cleanest MF I've ever met. Neatly shaved, also.

There was one other, but I forgot who, but the idea is still amazing that I was able to discover such things, and with such precision.
While in UF, I was coerced by the marching band to acutally audition for the "fightin' Gator Band" So I will be with the marching band at UF football games.

Nextly, Smashbros.com has been doing the daily updates, and with each passing day I grow more and more excited about it. Some great music has been released that is due to appear within the game.

Finally, to wrap up my bi monthly update, summer is going by amazingly due to great people I call my friends. They all do different things, but I can honestly say I appreciate them all.

And, I'm out.

I can't believe it; High School is all but over. Everything that went on through the years, including all the drama and all those other, good, times, is finally coming to a concurrent resolution. Band Concert was on friday, but I wasn't sad. Band Banquet was on Saturday, and I didn't flinch for seniors awards. Am I becoming cold? Is there something wrong with me, not reacting to the changes my life holds for me? The only time I cried this year was immediately after marching FBA, but after that everything else just seems...irrelevant. Not irrelevant, that's not the right word, but really, it is indescribable. Four years at Everglades has changed me into a much more assertive, confident, and knowledgeable person. I have grown within those walls into who I am today. There have been times when I loved being at school, or in the band room, and then other times when the thought of either brought me to anger, or despair. I just don't understand why I refuse to flinch when I hear and understand that I am ending a chapter in my life. All the people I've met and been friends with, I won't forget them. Some people I regret what happened between us, and others I wish there was more we could have done to be closer.

I must say though, I will miss high school, but I feel ready to accept whatever comes my way.

Peace,

She's dead to me.


I've been nice to her ever since she entered our school. But she has talked shit behind my back all along.

Sexist?!

Abusive?!

I'm above women?!


WTF!


I treated her with the most respect I could possibly give her, even as others showed disdain towards her. Why, oh fucking why, does she have to talk shit with some of my closer friends, saying that I am all the above while my friends know that those things are not true.


I just get so fucking mad sometimes...useless bullshit, she'll pay.

http://kotaku.com/gaming/kingdom-hearts%253a-final-mix/kingdom-hearts-iii-extended-trailer-248612.php

Oh yes.

Now proceed to be shocked.

You know the rules. Leave an annonymous comment of your choice. Keep your identity a secret.


I also fucked up in the stocks game...oooh boy. Regret, regret, regret...


but anyway, anonymous comment.